Jamie's Blog

Lisa and I are on Spring Break this week. What does that mean?

Well, firstly, we have a break from classes which means five fewer hours spent at Temple’s Fort Washington campus. Secondly, we have five more hours to spend as we choose. Lisa chose to spend the larger part of those hours with our nephew. I only committed a part of my time to him. I also decided to catch up on some work whose deadlines are fast approaching.

I sometimes find myself questioning the amount which I work. I ask myself what it is my employer wants from me, as an employee. Is it my time? Is it my experience? Is it my skill? These are separate things I think, and yet most employers demand all these things. Since that is the case, I hesitate to work much more than the standard work week, and yet there is a part of me that desires the work. There is a part of me that yearns to produce and create something valuable. Still, my energies need not be directed at job. There are so many endeavors I wish to pursue, and yet I worry about deadlines and expectations. On some level, I don’t care at all about work–not in the way that you’d expect. I don’t care about being fired. After all, Lisa and I lack responsibilities and dependents. On yet another level, my job, which takes up a majority of my time, is an integral part of my spirit. That ineffable quality about me some might call a soul is all tied into the things I do and the people I interact with every day.

This line of thought soon gets tangled in its own tendrils, and I realize I missed half an hour of productive time, and I table further introspection for the next time.

Our nephew came today to spend the week. He’s a well-behaved baby of almost a year. I made him cry twice by scolding him. He insists on stuffing things into his mouth. I’m not sure I would mind if I were his parent, but since they mind, I am trying to prevent such behavior. I say ‘Mai!’ Which means no in our Chinese dialect. I try make it deep and threatening in a way that goes beyond language. It must work, because it has made him cry several times now. Aside from making him cry, I also wrestled with him a bit. He is really cute!

This week, Lisa and I have spring break from Temple University. We are going to enjoy it by going out on a night we typically have class. I can’t wait! This weekend was relaxing, long, and fun. I hope we’ll have many weekends like this once we both finish school.

On Friday, Lisa, Pris, Hung, and I went to a sushi place in Jersey off of Route 130 called Sagami. Although its tight, the food was excellent! We returned to Pris’ and I worked on her virus-infested computer while the others watch August Rush.

The next morning, I went to the laundromat to modify the system to accept card numbers in any rage, then the previous’ nights group went to Reading Terminal Market. Lisa and I had pita rollups and Hung and Pris had Thai food. We also snarfed down Famous Cookies‘ cookies. Afterwards, we went to KOP where Lisa shopped and I did some reading at Border’s. I read a couple chapters of Malcom Gladwell’s newest book, Outliers. The most interesting part was his explanation of why Asians are good at math. His theory has to do with the length of the words for numbers in Chinese languages, the linguistic formation of large numbers, and the difficulty of growing rice. Later that night, we met with the crew at Lonestar Steakhouse to celebrate Tuan and Chris’ birthdays. I gave Tuan a copy of the Manga Bible trying to play off his Catholic upbringing and love of manga. The food was better than Lisa and I expected, and we were glad we went.

Today we went house hunting in the morning, then played a little tennis, and did some spring cleaning.

I just setup a WordPress blog for the wife! Hopefully she will put it to good use!

For our nephew’s 1 year birthday celebration, I worked on an image that would emulate a famous baby-food maker’s logo. We printed the image onto a mug using CafePress, a popular custom vendor, which will print your images on just about anything.

Here are the results:

I never write in specific terms about work, out of a concern that my words will somehow their way to the eyes of my bosses and my bosses’ bosses. It’s not so much that I fear retribution for an off-color remark. It’s more that I want my thoughts, set down here, to be the province of my personal life rather than my professional life.

Is this even possible anymore? The Twitterfication of the world is accelerating every day. Twitter, the online micro-blogging platform, allows one to connect with others quickly and constantly. The more interconnected we become with those at work and those at home, the more the separate spheres of ones life coalesce. A Seinfeld episode described this as the colliding of worlds.

Businesses that wish to stay competitive in a global economy, attracting the best talent worldwide, will become more flexible with their employees, leveraging this blurring effect to increase productivity. Work when you feel like it, when you’re most productive! Sometimes you’ll have to take a call at midnight, but a midday break to take the kids to the zoo will be okay.

This may be troublesome for those that cannot rapidly transition between two different frames of mind. The personal task-switching costs may be insurmountable for some. These personalities will be ousted from the global economy where productivity and entrepreneurship reign.

Despite this inevitable collision, for now, I’d like to write about work without it getting in the company newsletter.

I stated before that marriage marks the beginning of a new stage in the relationship. Even though I’ve stated I’ve felt married to Lisa for years, marriage is still a new beginning in my eyes. Despite what strength our relationship holds, regardless of the trials we have blazed through together, society has not considered us man and wife. Before the ceremony, even my parents, who were overjoyed to have me settle down with a nice Chinese girl, would balk when I called her my wife.

Even though we have been united through bonds of spirit for years, all that time I wanted to be official. I wanted others to recognize the bond we had. I didn’t think we could start the next phase of our lives until we took that step. And what does that next phase hold? We’re working on getting a house, and we’re starting graduate degrees in the fall. Although we’re making progress, I wonder if its all too myopic. Has the small victory we’ve had made us complacent about what will come ahead? Maybe I’m spending too much time on the future, without taking time for the present.

A lot of people I’ve been running into have been asking me how my life has changed since I’ve been married. In fact, just yesterday Lisa and I were at Minado’s in Norristown celebrating Rob Swander’s birthday, when Becky Lee asked me how the married life has been thus far.

In asking the question, it seems people expect you to say that life has changed to some extent, by a non-trivial measure. This is a probable assumption. Marriage is a huge life change because it marks the official beginning of a different stage in a relationship. I can’t think of anything that can impact a life more than marriage besides death or life–the death of a loved one or the miracle of a new life brought into the world.

How has marriage changed my life? Whenever I have been asked that question, I have answered that my life is pretty much the same as it was before. To me, she has been my wife for years. I don’t know whether people see this is a testament to the quality of our pre-nuptual relationship or an indictment against our current one. I hope its not the latter.

My father has somehow stumbled upon YouTube.

A recap of the last year’s events:

• I gave Lisa a diamond ring and Lisa and we began our wedding planning.
• I worked in New York City and stayed at various locations in and out of the city.
• I took a new job, having turned down two other (retrospectively worse) offers.
• I read almost the entire Dune series of science fiction novels.
• Lisa and I played lots and lots of tennis.
• I went skiing more than in any previous year.
• I learned that I love Mexican food almost more than any other type.
• All my friends chipped in for a Nintendo Wii.
• I visited my paternal grandmother for the first time in many years, even though she lives right in northeast Philadelphia.

This year, I resolve to:

1. continue to learn about myself and the world
2. increase my patience and understanding
3. make greater contributions to society
4. love more purely, widely, and honestly

This month, I started a new job that will hopefully be better for our
future than the previous. Firstly, I will get to be home more than I
have been in the past few months–I’ve been in NYC a lot. Secondly,
I’ll make more money. The job is going well so far, and I can only
hope that it keeps on the same track. Meanwhile, Lisa and I have
picked our wedding favors, taken studio pictures, and chosen a wedding photographer. We’re making great progress with the planning and I’m confident that everything will be ready on time.

Our decision making process is as follows. She asks me what I think,
and I tell her that I’m happy with whatever she decides (sometimes I do give more insightful comments). I try to defer to her decisions
because we are sometimes at odds about my decision making process. I like to make snap decisions because I don’t like to dwell on an issue
once I have enough information to decide upon an option. Still, I
appreciate being able to make decisions with her, and the chance that
we have to start a new life together.