Jamie's Blog

A lot of people I’ve been running into have been asking me how my life has changed since I’ve been married. In fact, just yesterday Lisa and I were at Minado’s in Norristown celebrating Rob Swander’s birthday, when Becky Lee asked me how the married life has been thus far.

In asking the question, it seems people expect you to say that life has changed to some extent, by a non-trivial measure. This is a probable assumption. Marriage is a huge life change because it marks the official beginning of a different stage in a relationship. I can’t think of anything that can impact a life more than marriage besides death or life–the death of a loved one or the miracle of a new life brought into the world.

How has marriage changed my life? Whenever I have been asked that question, I have answered that my life is pretty much the same as it was before. To me, she has been my wife for years. I don’t know whether people see this is a testament to the quality of our pre-nuptual relationship or an indictment against our current one. I hope its not the latter.

– Jamie

Another Thanksgiving has passed with tidings of joy and love. I am grateful for the time I have with Lisa, each extra day we share together. At times, life seems so utterly short to me–so much so that I strive to breathe in every second. However, when I hold Lisa in my arms, inhaling her scent, I nearly grasp infinity.

Yesterday, the (future) wife and I went shopping at Montgomery Mall. Aside from a few personal items, articles of clothing and other luxuries, we also got a few travel brochures. We stopped to eat an almond pretzel from Auntie Anne’s and flip through them. After looking through the Asia brochure, we thought about whether we wanted our honeymoon to be more cultural or relaxing. We decided it should be relaxing and dismissed Asia as a destination. Then, we looked at the Caribbean and Jamaica brochures, but the agent said something about June being the start of the hurricane season. If we are anything, it’s prudent. Having eliminated two more destinations, we turned our attention to Hawaii and Europe, with its Grecian beaches. Wanting someplace with nice beaches, we decided that Hawaii must have better beaches than Europe (and it’s warmer). So, we are pretty much set on Hawaii. We can take some cultural tours around the islands, see some volcanoes, and relax on its beaches. Hopefully, all of our decisions will be that easy.

I’m on the twenty-ninth floor of the Ramada New Yorker two blocks from Penn Station in midtown Manhattan. There’s no central-air here (only one of those air conditioners you stick out of a window), and the room feels historic–as if it hasn’t changed since before I was born. The comforter bears a floral design of pinks and dark greens, and I can’t tell whether the colors are meant to seem dull and understated or if the blanket is just very worn. The room seems smaller than it is, a regular (in the geometric sense) room of about sixty-four square feet. The bathroom walls are covered in sea-green ceramic; more than a few tiles are cracked. I’ve never seen this before, but there are four faucets, two to control the showhead and two to regulate the bottom spigot.

Lisa’s voice filters through my cellphone’s speaker, only slightly distored. She’ll be on the phone all night, on the bedside desk. We spend many nights like this since I’ve been back working off of Wall Street. We provide mutual comfort just idling on the phone together, the only sounds being the hiss of the speakerphone, the constant gushing chill from the air conditioner, and the fingers tapping on keys. I don’t enjoy being away from her. If she is life, then how do I justify the time that I spend away? My only answer is that my love for her must be tempered by my love for all that is not her.

I know some people may wonder why Lisa and I, yet so young, have decided to get married. These people may be even more amazed when we tell them that we wanted to get married last year, but waited for family reasons. For me, the decision to get married was a simple one, and there are three main points which led to my own decision:

1. If you were to ask me why I live, that is the purpose of my existence, I would tell you that it is to have my own family.
2. On a more practical level, I feel, perhaps falsely, that it will be more economical to be married, as we can live together, share expenses and pool our money together for greater purchasing power, and avoid all the time we spend driving back and forth from each others houses.
3. Lastly, there is that reason that is mentioned so often but should not be taken forgranted–we love each other.

I admit that there is a small resentment. It steals from my id, some feral beast out of the frontier, slipping passed the more deliberate, refined elements of my persona. Tied in matrimony, it’s natural to give the whole of your being to your spouse, but what miniscule fraction of me not tied to Lisa’s happiness dreaded leaving our genesis to a stranger. We idled months awaiting a decision from one versed in the stars and elements, that mystical viscera of the universe. All that time so that we could avoid future trauma, the unmerciful collision of fate with two souls.? I firmly believe that the reins of destiny fly loose out of my grasp, but also that no one holds a noose around my neck.? That’s why I hope you’ll understand my resentment, what little I allow myself to feel.? I freely abdicate to Lisa what little command I have of my destiny, but, its delegation may chafe.

Here are some final updates on my life before this blog is closed, for those few who are interested and don’t feel like asking personally

I graduated Drexel University on June 11, 2005. The commencement began at around 9:00 AM and was nothing special. I now have a BS in Computer Science and minor in Mathematics, finishing with a GPA of 3.61, graduating cum laude.

I will be starting work on June 27, 2005 for a small financial consulting firm whose headquarters is in Devon, PA, called Smart and Associates. Pinky has already started work there.

I will be waiting to see my work schedule and discuss it with my supervisors before attempting further education. If time (and the school) permits, I will be attempting either an MBA or a MS in Information Systems at Penn State, Great Valley Campus. I may have to take introductory courses elsewhere to meet the prerequsites for these degrees.

I have moved back home to live with my parents in the attempt to save money to buy a house. We live in Glen Mills, PA, near Media. If you care to visit, feel free to drop by. My father loves for people to come over so he can show off the house.

Lisa and I will most likely not be getting married until 2007, due to familial obligations. Still, we are as happy as ever. She has started a job at J&J in its FLDP program. Yes, she makes more money than I will.

As we all grow older, may we all work towards success–a personal success that each individual must define for himself.

Introduced by Real Networks in 1995, streaming audio has become ubiquitous in the United States if not the rest of industrialized world. Millions of people nationwide now enjoy free (as in beer, not speech) internet radio through applications such as Winamp and RealPlayer (for the sake of brevity, I’ll omit mention of VoIP save this blurb). Only one piece of the Internet, streaming media has allowed users to access information in a more natural way than through text, [techspeek]all while mitigating network bottlenecks and without discriminating against low-bandwidth channels[/techspeek]. Streaming audio has facilitated the expansion of free (as in speech and as in beer) thought, like many other Internet applications.

These past few years have born witness to further advances in the state of the art. Satelite radio networks are beginning to challenge the established radio outlets with bold programming (Stern is so funny) and wider selections, for a small subscription fee. This is great news for the little guy, as it draws some power away from the big players. Control media and you’ll control the world–Murdoch style.

So the next time you are enjoying Club 977 internet radio or in your cubicle watching the latest episode of Naruto, streaming from a server in Denmark, thank RealNetworks and the minds that continually bring innovation to our world.

Resources:
Slashdot – Streaming Audio 10 Years Old

Souls shrouded in shadow
press against ghastly earth
that shakes and quakes and falls in on itself.

They sew their eyelids shut,
tearing and mending skin and sinew